When a J Marries a P

For y'all out there who are wondering what my hubby's Myers-Brigsg type is, I am pleased to annouce to the world. He is an INTP, and fairly strongly expressed. Maybe, I should let him know that I've finally figured him out. You see, he's never taken The Test. Or if he took did, he forgot the results. I myself have analyzed him and with the characteric self-confidence of MY personality type (INTJ) have determined that he is undoubtably an INTP. For awhile, I considered that he might be in ISTP, but he isn't.

It's a good thing that we are fairly similar in our dispositions since we already have a large age, background, professional and racial difference to enjoy. We share a predisposition to be introverted, more intuitive and abstract than concrete, and more rational and thought based than emotional. But, ahem, there is a one glaring difference in our personalities. He is a open-ended, decide later, minimun plans kind of guy. I am a "I decided it yesterday and I'm having my lawyer check it out now" kind of gal. I want closure, firmness, certainty, detailed contingency plans, orderly lists, established goals. What little spontaneity I had in my freewheeling college years is going fast and I like it that way.

One example of how my J clashes with his P is in the area of eating out. My husband, when the wind blows right and the spirit in him is moved, decides to go out to eat, often at an expensive restaurant. I can't number the times that he's called me five minutes before he's about to leave work and said, "Let's go out to X Restaurant now!" It always is a crushing disappointment to me. If I had only KNOWN that we were going out to eat I could have looked forward to it for days; I could have planned; I could have anticipated; I could have scheduled my day so that our eating out would fit smoothly into the events of the week; I could have thought about what I really wanted to eat planned the rest of my meals accordingly. Ugh. Even worse, if we "use up" the specialness of X restaurant so spontaneously I'll have set up a different plan for when a really special occasion comes around, like my birthday.

Another frequent clash of J verses P is in our concept of organization. My husband, poor soul, truly is conviced that he is organized. I am convinced otherwise. He knows that he has written some essential information on a small post-it note and placed it with 500 other small pieces of paper and plastic in one of several places. I can hear him now, "Let me check my other pocket." And truly, if he were living alone, he would do okay. Since he never throws away anything at all, there is a high change that he has what he needs in some pile somewhere. I admit, he has an uncanny knack of finding it. But my husband does not live alone. He lives with me, a woman who evicted her own sister from their shared apartment during college because that sister left a couple dirty dishes in the sink. I hate papers because they are inherently messy. If I must keep a paper, I prefer to file it--not pile it. If I had to keep track of all my husband's floating receipts, notes, and etcetera I would blow a fuse.

Speaking of blowing a fuse, that reminds me. While I agonized over every item to pack when we left for Korea, knowing that we had to leave almost everything behind, my dear husband brought a plastic bag of plastic forks, spoons, and paper napkins in his suitcase. They came from his college dorm and, for some unknown reason, he has been saving them and lugging them around the world. He said he didn't know what was in the bag when he packed it.

Oh and two weeks ago, he invited his friend to meet me for the first time and have dinner with us. The social anxiety that comes from my introvertedness was already causing panic to rise in my heart. Then this friend called as I was preparing dinner and mentioned to my husband that she would be arriving fifteen minutes earlier than I had anticipated. I had already starting cooking later than I had planned because my husband had been taking a nap. Hearing that, my J's plan-dependency prompted me to switch into panic gear. I thought, "In order to make sure that dinner is ready on time, drasic steps must be taken immediately. Red alert!" What did my husband do? Just sat in a chair watching a game show on TV, as the end of my life flashed before my eyes.

I could multiply examples endlessly, but I have a plan to read through the Bible in one year. It give me great satisfaction to follow my plan. I need to go read now.

P.S. I am dying to know what you, my readers, Myers-Briggs Types are. I have a hunch about a couple of you, such as Sparrow and Truth and Testimony and Today's Lessons, but I want to know for sure.

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