Friday the 13th of May

Today is Friday but it really feels more like the end of my existence as a sane human being.

My husband was going to be late last night but he came home on time. Unfortunately, he didn't tell me he would be on time and when he came home, I was out on a walk and had taken our only phone with us. Buggy Boy gets grumpy in the evenings but calms down if I go out and walk.

So my husband had to go out and find a phone to call me and ask me where I was. I was on my way back anyway, but it took me a long time to catch the elevator to get up to our apartment. So I come back and there is my poor husband. He's starving and grumpy. He doesn't want me to cook because it stresses him out watching me cook (that's another story). He's also grumpy because I removed the take-out menus from the front of our refrigerator and he can't find them.

"Why do you have to taken them down?" he asks.

"Because they look messy. I'm here all day long and I like things to look somewhat orderly and clean," I snap.

He boils some ramen. I hate ramen. I boycott ramen. I was fed ramen as a child and never recovered from the abuse.

Out apartment is basically one big room. So all the noise from ramen-making filled the apartment. That maked me grumpy for another very shameful reason. My husband keeps coming back and eating dinner during my favorite TV show. I'm not TV watcher but I need desparately to practice my Korean listening skills. I don't have one single Korean-speaking Korean friend anywhere in the world. (The Korean friends I have speak English to me). The only practice I get speaking Korean is saying "I don't need a bag" to the grocery store clerk and talking to my mother-in-law on the phone once a week for five minutes, assuring her that I am not losing too much weight from breastfeeding my baby. "Yes, mother, I ate well today."

So I try to watch TV but unless I have some idea of the context it is very difficult for me to understand what they are saying. There is one drama I have been watching called 어여쁜 여자 "Lovely Lady" which I have found I can understand better than others. I finally know most of the characters names and relationships to one another. Many Korean dramas are all about large extended families and their feuds and struggles. Figuring out who is whose great-aunt, younger sister-in-law, second cousin, or older half-brother takes some time and is not just central to plot development, it is the plot.

Anyway, my days are long and monotonous without many signpost to mark the passing of the hours. I just keep trying to work at what I can when I can and enjoy my baby. One of the only signposts in my day is that drama which comes on at 8:25 PM. I can count on it. It is never late, never cancelled, never postponed. I feel good when I can understand what the characters say to each other and when I can see why they act the way they do.

So I sat down to a meal of ramen. Buggy Boy kept screaming in his highchair. Not crying. Screaming. I ate a few bites of ramen, felt my stomach churning from all the screaming, and retreated to the bathroom. Not finding much to do there, I took another shower. Unlike the rest of the world's female population, I don't really enjoy baths and showers. I clean myself out of duty. But I needed to drown out the screaming somehow so I took another shower.

The night did not get much better after that and this morning I still feel disgruntled. Don't feel sorry for me. I just wrote this post to vent. I am working on a more serious post about giving. I will be back to my calm, cool, collected self in no time. Yeah, right.

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