Blogging in Weakness

I feel like people are going to think I'm the little boy who cried wolf. You remember the story. A little shepherd boy kept screaming out wolf warnings when no wolf was around. People eventually quit believing him. When a wolf really come, no one listened to his yells and he got eaten.

Well, I've been stricken with the stomach flu again, and though I have been furiously googling in hopes of discovering what virus/flu/parasite may be growing in my gut, I really don't know. I've missed Sunday after Sunday of church and have a inbox with a number of unanswered emails. I haven't returned the calls of several friends, because just when I get well I get sick again. My fear is that people will quit believing me when I say I'm sick, and just think I'm using it as an excuse. Alas, I seem to be so understated in expressing myself vocally that I fail to really convey to people that I am indeed truly ill. At least, it seems that people at our church do not grasp that fact. But that last thing I want to do when I'm sick is to call a bunch of people I barely know and inform them of the gruesome details of my intestinal malfunctions. But I'm sure they've gotten tired of calling me too.

At least, I know that this particular incident isn't all in my mind. My sister, who is visiting me now from Manila, and my husband are both sick too. Thankfully, my Buggy Boy is as healthy as ever. While I'm sorry that my sister and hubby are unwell, I do feel better in one respect. Since I came to Korea, I've had seven or so incidents of food poisoning/stomach flu/whateveritis, but this is the only time that another person got sick along with me. I was beginning to think it was a problem with me. But I guess something is really going on.

Each time, I've gotten sick after eating out, so I don't think it is a problem with my kitchen or cooking. Yet, I just can't pinpoint what is causing these sicknesses. We only eat a reputable places, and (until now) I eat the exact same thing as my husband but only I get sick. Maybe my hubby's gut is aclimated to Korea already.

Since I now well enough to blog again, I must be just about back to normal. Strangely, near the beginning of my blogging career, I read someone else complain that their pet peeve was reading about other blogger's illnesses. This has made me very reticent to say anything when I am sick.

Perhaps it's true. Most readers don't want to read about my weaknesses. But the truth is, I am weak. Recently, I am physically weak. My body keeps betraying me. And, often, I feel that I am spiritually weak too. I wish I could have a heart of gratitude and a peaceful spirit. But I don't, and simply trying to change myself doesn't work. So I drag around my weak body and wrestle with my weak heart. I get physically tired and internally burned out.

In times like this, when I can sense my own weakness so strongly, I try to remember Paul's words.

That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, that Christ's strength may rest upon me.

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